I Love You

Hey everyone! I know it’s been 2 weeks since I’ve posted something, but I wanted to do it with lots of thought and consideration. Plus, my last 2 weeks have been filled with lots of tests, one being my muscle final that was 75 questions and the night before I just had to give up studying and go on what knowledge I had. With that being said, obviously our world has turned upside down over the last few days and I didn’t want to just post something frivolous about cramming for a final. I’ve also had a lot of trouble sitting down to write about something that is clearly a deep seeded issue in this country.

For me, growing up I was taught to love my neighbor. That was it, no exceptions. Love. A simple word that people see to forget the meaning of often. Not love with strings attached or love if you do what I want, and definitely not love only if you look like me. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve learned that love is for me to give to all, even people I don’t like very much. I’ve found that if I pray for someone everyday, it becomes really hard not to love them. So that’s what I do, because in the end, maybe they are going through something hard that they don’t feel ready to share with me so they project their anger onto me. And hey, maybe I rubbed them the wrong way when I was in a not so happy mood, we all have bad days. So I pray. They are usually the first person I pray for in the morning, and after a couple days, I find that it’s hard to stay mad at them. It has become a simple way for me to learn how to open my heart to everyone. It’s not always easy, especially with people who really hurt me, but no matter how long it takes, eventually I find that I’m excited to pray for them.

I’ve written and erased so many things trying to write this, but I just want to say I love you. Whoever you are. I love you with no conditions or strings. I love you no matter what your political affiliation or spiritual beliefs. I love you no matter what you look like or who you love. I love you because I don’t see any way forward that doesn’t start with love. As much as I would love it to be, I know it’s not that simple, but I also know it starts with me. The world doesn’t change unless I do. And one day, when Adam and I have children, I’ll teach them to love, no strings attached.

As I write this, I am overhearing Adam watching a live stream of the protest going on down the street from us. I’ve started tearing up because part of this protest they are stopping to “Love Your Neighbor”, and everyone is encouraged to stop and meet someone they’ve never met before. What a beautiful way to show love and start breaking down the walls of racism. What happened to George Floyd and so many before him is unacceptable, and I want to apologize for staying silent for so long. Let’s move forward together, and for everyone out there right now, protestors and police, know I’ll be praying for your safety.

I know this is short and maybe not the most eloquently written thing, but I don’t know what else to say and I would be lying if I said this was easy to write. Let’s move together hand in hand and teach our children to be better, not by our words, but by our actions. I love you all!

Love,

Rene