Getting Better
Alright, know I promised an update today that included the story of what happened with Baxter, but I’m not gonna lie, I am pretty tired and I’m sitting down much later then I expected to write this so thinking that will be a post for another day. Instead, I am going to share some of the things I’ve been doing that help me mentally get through hard times. Mainly I do things that get me creating, coloring in an adult coloring book, making something, painting, anything like that. If you haven’t tried an adult coloring book, I would highly suggest it. They are super detailed and take forever to complete, but for me it’s so relaxing to decide on the color scheme I want and then taking the time to color each section. I’m sure for some they are annoying and way to complicated to be relaxing, but just letting an hour float away coloring them help me calm my mind. I know Adam always rolls his eyes when I pull one out, he is definitely a person who may not find coloring something relaxing.
I also like to try new things, a few months back I got a couple of boxes from Adults & Crafts so I pulled one of those out and made the craft. It was a really cute macrame pot shelf thing. I’ve been trying to get a good picture of it but it may be a whole because I don’t have any way to hand it without putting a hole in the ceiling and we’re technically not supposed to put any holes in the walls unless they are small nails. Once we decide if we’re staying here or going to a different apartment in our building there’s a chance it will get hung up and I’ll just fill the hole before we leave, who would think I would put a hook in the ceiling. Anyways, I had to make the knots at the top and they made this really cure spiral, and then it has 2 wooden piecing and the lower one becomes the shelf. It came out super cute and it definitely made me want to look into making some macrame tapestries to hang up. Who knows, maybe if I ever start an Etsy shop, I can sell those.
Some of you may have seen that I started putting up pictures for our family picture wall which as frustrating as that was to do all the measurements, it was somewhat calming. I’m not pregnant or anything, but it felt like I was nesting, is that a thing people do after they loose someone important? I’ve only ever heard it for pregnant women. I love looking up at the all across from our bed and seeing the pictures from our wedding, and other family pictures. Adam and I also went to Michael’s today and bought some shadow boxes. Our intention was to only get one but they were buy one get of free, so why not grab 2, but we got a 3rd because the one was a 2-pack. We got a white one for Baxter and I can’t wait to put it together with his clay paw prints and pictures of him, I can’t wait to look up at the wall and see him there. The other 2 are grey and I am thinking I’m going to use one for things from our wedding and then depending on if I need a second for it or not, I’m thinking I’ll just save the second one for when we have a baby. We still haven’t picked out an urn for Baxter ashes, which we got on Thursday, I’ve found a lot of really pretty ones, just can’t narrow it down. I’m sure it’ll come to me and I’ll just know which one is right.
I also got some really pretty jewelry in honor of him. It’s all in rose gold, I got a pendent that is a rectangle bar that is also a mini urn I can put some ashes in. On it it says Baxter, 8.15.08-7.2.20, “you left paws on my heart”. Then I got a pendent that will have his face etched into it from a picture I sent, I got a pendent with the coordinates of the hospital we put him down at, and I got a beautiful ring that has 2 hearts on it and in each heart is his paw prints etched in. I can’t wait for everything to get here and once they do I will post pictures of them. The last thing I’m going to add to the necklace will be a pendent I am going to make myself, It will be a rectangle with resin in the middle that will have a paw print sticker, a letter B, and a little bit of his hair in it. I’m sure my mother would think I’m going a little overboard but I want to always have a piece of him with me. I thinking making my own pendent will be like making the shadow box for him, it will be so relaxing and I think it will really help me mentally process everything we went through with him.
A couple of other things we’re thinking is to get a nice canvas or nice print of him to put on our family picture wall. We also plan on getting a picture frame with 3 slots so we can put the paw prints the vet made for us on each end and then a picture of him in the middle. He will definitely be well remembered in out family. I feel like I should get some other prints as well of family. Just to make sure our wall isn’t just our wedding and Baxter, but other also other family members. We do have a really sweet canvas collage of us with our niece Iris, my sister-in-law Stacey made it for us for Christmas last year and its so beautiful, it even has a sweet picture of Baxter and Iris taking a nap together, I love it.
Ok, so much for me writing a quick blog, I still think writing about Baxter will be a hard one to write. It’s still hard to think about it without crying, but I’m sure it will be rely healing for me to write it down for people to read. I am thinking it’s bedtime once I finish the movie I’m watching, if you’ve never seen “How Do You Know”, give it a watch, it’s such a sweet movie. Watching movies and TV help me so much, even if I’ve seen it a million times, I find so much comfort in watching happy stories be told. Goodnight everyone, or good day if you are reading this during the day. Thanks for listening. Love you all!
Love,
Rene
